The “asking for it” defense is alive and well even in 2016, and you have to be a “good victim” in order to give your case the best shot it has. When you seek charges, you’re on trial as much as the other person, if not more. Shortly after, I got a call from the DA telling me that I shouldn’t have been told to simply go offline, and that she knew we had a very strong case worth prosecuting. I was on my own on this front, until the Boston Magazine article was posted by a journalist who had been following everything and speaking with my ex. To make matters worse, I was unable to speak up during that time period out of fear of reprisal from the judicial system (more on that later) and watched as he was washed out of history (along with a lot of other people targeted). A lot of people don’t think of it in terms of domestic violence, they forget where the flashpoint of GamerGate came from - you might not even know the man responsible’s name. I have one of the most public abuse cases out there, it started a hate movement that’s swept up my industry and hurt dozens of bystanders, and got international media attention. Leaving aside the fact that the police flat out murder unarmed citizens for their race all the time, and that sex workers are likely to be incarcerated when reporting crime done to them, and a myriad of other things I can’t get into, I have a certain amount of privilege and a well-documented case.

One of the biggest myths that needs to die is that your first response to being abused should be to go to the police and seek justice.

Somebody Told Me by Mia Siegert